Buy Garrus Body Pillow |BEST|
If you chose to romance Garrus Vakarian in Mass Effect, then get ready for some good news. Today, you can buy yourself a Garrus body pillow! It's technically just the case, but all you need to do is get a body pillow, and you will have your own personal Garrus Vakarian by your side.
buy garrus body pillow
In 2014, BioWare teased gamers with a Garrus body pillow for April Fool's Day. The body pillow was never actually sold because it was just meant as a fun joke. People were seriously interested in this though, and BioWare finally decided to create the body pillow a few years later. In 2019, the Garrus body pillow fantasy came to true. BioWare sold the body pillow for April Fool's Day that year, and now it's back again.
After his appearance in the first Mass Effect game, Garrus quickly became a fan favorite. All across the internet, fans have voted Garrus as their favorite character in Mass Effect. Many believe that the games would truly be lacking if Garrus wasn't there, and it's easy to see why. While having a compelling storyline and relationship with Shepard, Garrus has no shortage of memorable quotes. You can opt to just remain friends instead of romancing him, but if you did romance him, then you definitely deserve this body pillow.
The pillowcase can be a bit pricy, but nothing beats having your own Garrus. Body pillows in this style can often be a little explicit. Thankfully though, we are given a more wholesome Garrus who just wants to lay by your side. Still can't get enough of Garrus Vakarian? In December of 2020, a new Mass Effect game was announced. We don't know the release date yet, but we can look forward to seeing Garrus one more time. Maybe this time, he will finally finish his calibrations.
There are a million and one reasons to love the Mass Effect trilogy, but one of them was the fact that the game offered friendships and relationships that were intimately crafted to bring the RPG aspect of the game to even more immersive heights. One of those romances is Garrus Vakarian, a former C-Sec officer turned renegade badass that could either be Commander Shepard's best bro or their lovah! While we can't have the real Garrus quite yet (we can dream), the body pillow that was available a few years ago is back through the re-launched BioWare Gear Store.
I, uh, may or may not have purchased this when it came out a few years ago even though I'm married. I have zero regrets. It's always funny when jokes end up becoming a real product. Razer saw this with their RGB toaster that eventually became a real thing, and this body pillow was a huge hit with fans and people that just honestly thought it was funny.
Now that you can buy the Mass Effect Garrus body pillow once more, we've got to ask: if you could turn any prank product into a real, purchasable item - what would it be and why is it a Tali'Zorah body pillow? Sound off with your dream picks in the comment section below! For even more Mass Effect goodness, check out our exclusive hub here with interviews, coverage, and first looks at the Mass Effect Legendary Edition that drops this May.
Garrus Vakarian, the fan-favourite marksman from Mass Effect, captured the hearts of countless players of the classic third-person shooter back in the day. The thing is, he's not very cuddly, given the fact that he's got extremely rough and spiky skin. However, this very real Garrus body pillow case solves that one downside of hugging an alien, and it's on sale right now.
It's official, because BioWare has finally witnessed the depths of the Shakarian tag on Archive of Our Own. Don't ask me how I know that. For the low, low price of $35, the Mass Effect Garrus Body Pillow Case can be yours. He's in his sleepwear on both sides of the case, one pose with him reclining on his back and the other curled up on his side. The artwork isn't quite as saucy as some would like, but the first wave of the pillow cases have been snapped up posthaste. The next wave is still available to purchase but these will be shipped next month at the earliest. And, the fact that this was released on April Fool's Day appears to have taken some by surprise.
"Wait, I could actually order this? It didn't stop me? No punchline? Oh god, this is too funny, I have to find somewhere to hide this when it comes in now!" said Jordan in the reviews for the product. "I loved the Turian, but not like THAT!" Sure, Jordan. Sure. It's the only body pillow case on offer right now, but that doesn't mean the developer isn't planning on Wrex, Grunt, Zaeed, Legion, Thane, Mordin and Javik designs too. If one cold and standoffish alien/human/robot gets a body pillow, then they should all get a body pillow, in my opinion. In fact, you're probably already able to find body pillow cases for these characters on stores like RedBubble. I'll own up to it - I've just had a gander and there are some undeniable stunners out there.
Even dumber, though, is the pillow itself. Turians have rough, plate-like skin containing trace amounts of thulium that protects them from solar radiation on their homeworld of Palaven (which, of course, has a weak magnetosphere due to its lower-than-average heavy metal content). However, rather than going for true verisimilitude, Garrus is soft and cloth-like. Turian fans expecting to finally be able to curl up into a genuine Turian embrace are going to be sadly disappointed.
So for now, I'd recommend you keep your life-size Garrus cardboard cutouts around. The pillow is good as a regular pillow, but as an actual substitute for a tall, dreamy Turian, it just doesn't work. Try harder, Bioware.
smashpansy was created in the disastrous aftermath of Mass Effect 3, when a few friends encouraged me to make a Garrus dakimakura as a joke. Suffering fans around the world found solace and strength in the fluffy pillow's busom, and we were all able to stand up and bravely march past those terrible times.
If you ever played Bioware's beloved Mass Effect trilogy (the original, excluding Andromeda), you're probably a fan of the lovable companion Garrus Vakarian. In the past, we've seen Bioware prank Garrus lovers on April 1, showing off a body pillow with the calibrating Turian as its motif, but this year the people who have wanted the aforementioned pillow to snuggle up to at night won't be as disappointed.
The Garrus Vakarian Body Pillow - which, by the way, is a body pillow cover and not the entire thing, despite its name - will cost you $29.99 USD (around 23, or 26.76 euros). It's officially-licensed as well, so you're getting the genuine article here.
Back on this date in 2014, BioWare advertised the sexiest videogame accessory of all time: A Garrus Vakarian body pillow that you could, uhh, "calibrate to get the full night's rest you deserve!" Alas, this date in 2014, as it is today, was April Fool's Day, and the pillow existed only in the imaginations of quite possibly tens of thousands of disappointed Mass Effect fans.
The real-life Garrus Vakarian Body Pillow, available from Jinx, will set you back 30 bucks, and despite the name it's not actually a pillow at all but just a cover: You'll have to spring for the pillow separately and, as far as I can tell, somewhere else. The case measures 53x24 inches with a zipper closer, is made of "super comfortable brushed polyester," and features a full-color image of Garrus on both sides, one in portrait and the other in profile, for spooning or whatever. It's your pillow, you do you.
I'm a little disappointed that this is being billed on Jinx as a body pillow when it is clearly a body pillowcase, but I also have no doubt that an awful lot of Mass Effect fans will be happy to let the distinction slide if it means they can finally get Garrus in the sack. The body pillow covers are slated to start shipping the week of June 17.
April Fools' day has come and gone, but amidst all the jokes came the reveal of a very real and very serious addition to the BioWare store's line of Mass Effect merchandise: Garrus Vakarian body pillow covers. While you'll have to supply your own pillow to fit inside the lengthy 20 x 53-inch cover, the item is a tastefully sultry representation of everyone's favorite Turian that doesn't veer off into Rule 34 territory.
Introduced all the way back in the first Mass Effect game, Garrus has been a fan-favorite character throughout his appearances in the original trilogy. Shepard's Citadel partner in the first game and a potential romance option for female Shepard in the second and third games, Garrus has always been a reliable ally. As a body pillow, at least he'll always be there for you when you need a comfy shoulder to lean on.
The Garrus pillow is a good 6-feet in length for maximum comfort. Honestly, it's hard not to feel safe with this life-like reproduction of Garrus laying beside you in bed. The full product description is as follows:
Get some much-needed shut-eye while one of your most loyal squadmates watches your back. This therapeutic companion pillow provides comfort and protection when your guard is down. The memory foam quickly calibrates to your body for unmatched support.
Have you ever wanted to hop into bed with Mass Effect's Garrus? No, not like that! OK, well, maybe a little like that. As it turns out, the Garrus body pillowcase that was once an April Fool's joke is now an April Fool's reality. As of April 1, 2021, you can actually buy this phenomenal product featuring everyone's favorite seductive (and machine-washable) squad mate.
$30 can't buy you much in 2019. Sure, it can buy you a smaller indie game or two. Maybe dinner for you and your sweetie. A gas tank? $30 just doesn't go as far as it used to. Unless you're a Mass Effect fan, then $30 can buy you the whole world and then some. Perhaps as an apology for Mass Effect: Andromeda and then Anthem's launch, BioWare has announced that you can now pre-order a full-body Garrus Vakarian pillow case so you never have to sleep alone again. No, really. Remember that full-body Garrus pillow BioWare previously did as an April Fools' joke? It's now a real thing you can buy with real money so you can real-life cuddle with it in the near-future. 041b061a72